Have you ever allowed someone to treat you in a certain way just to keep the peace in the relationship?
Have you ever kept your mouth shut because you knew if you said anything it would just cause conflict?
Yes?
Well, same.
As much as I am a person who is not afraid of conflict, not afraid of rocking the boat, not afraid of doing hard things, there have been times that I have tolerated toxic behavior for FAR too long.
If you have read my prior posts, one of the areas that I tend to do this is in my career.
I do believe that our lessons in life repeat until we learn what we are supposed to learn.
I am hopeful that refusing to work in a toxic work environment was the lesson…
Lord knows I did a lot of that over the last few years.
I realized recently that I have consistently allowed a person in my life to lie to me and manipulate me, and when I would say something about the behavior, this person would flip it around and place the blame on me.
Gaslighting: Presenting a false narrative to a person leading them to doubt their perceptions, become mislead, and question themselves.
This particular person is no longer close to me, but has been in my life for close to 30 years.
I am unable to completely detach due to the fact that we have a shared legal arrangement that won’t end for about another three years.
This person is not mentally sound, or emotionally stable, so I have continued to eat crow for many years just to keep the peace.
But the other day, my soul was screaming at me, and I knew it was time to put a stop to it once and for all.
I am no longer willing to accept this treatment.
I am strong enough to withstand a battle.
I refuse to be walked on like a piece of discarded trash.
I have been sober nearly seven years, and I just now feel healed enough from the years I suffered emotional abuse at the hands of this person to completely sever the ties.
I don’t want to make it sound like this is something easy, because it IS NOT.
The decision is easy, but the enforcing of boundaries is very difficult, especially when the other person is not well.
I have attempted this in the past with this person, and they have caused extreme havoc in my life.
Mental, emotional and financial abuse for most of my adult life.
It is time for this to end.
I am ready to withstand the storm.
So how does one set a boundary?
I believe it starts with a decision.
Then we must be consistent in holding it, which can be challenging with a person who is used to being able to push you around and get their way.
They will likely take every possible opportunity to cross the boundary.
This is when your support system comes into play.
Your people that are there with their hands on your back providing you with the emotional support that you need to withstand the attack.
We can do this. I can do this. I am doing this.
So cheers to walking away from the toxic people in our lives, because we deserve to be free of them.