I’m not one to have a New Year’s resolution.
Mainly because I’m really good at follow through and taking action.
But I struggle terribly with slowing down and staying present, and being kind and graceful with myself.
It’s difficult for me even after nearly 5 years in recovery from substance abuse.
Along with my sober recovery, I’m also recovering from Burnout and Codependency.
I spent the first 39 years of my life moving quickly through the motions of what I assumed was expected of me. Career, marriage, parenting…
Losing myself entirely in the process.
These last five years have been spent repairing damage that I did to myself and others while also sorting through the layers of who I am as a person.
I’m still learning.
I’m still healing and growing.
This year my word is REVERENCE. (noun) deep respect for someone or something. (verb) regard or treat with deep respect)
As I practice faith in my Higher Power, I do so with reverence.
I honor my recovery journey.
I respect the people I come in contact with on a daily basis.
But how do I practice reverence for the ordinary?
The day to day life that is full of mundane tasks like housework and grocery shopping.
Can I find deep respect for stuff like that?
I believe it’s possible and I have started out the year by being mindful about everything I do.
Starting small with things like silent gratitude for running water while I wash dishes or do laundry.
Rolling the windows down while I drive back and forth to my kids schools because I am blessed to live near the ocean and can smell the salty air.
When I am frustrated with my body because it’s chubbier that I would like it to be, I try and focus on the fact that I have working limbs, or that I can digest food without issue.
Even small little changes like this have really impacted how I experience my life.
When I am frustrated with one of my teenagers, I try and remember that one day they will all be adults and living their own lives and I will miss them.
THIS DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DISMISS MY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
It is ok to be frustrated, angry, sad, disheartened or any other feeling that you may have.
It is also possible to find reverence for the ability to feel your feelings.
In my opinion, that is the ultimate way to be reverent.
Allowing yourself to be human.
So maybe that is the why behind my word for this year.
Grace for myself in the normalcy of life.
Reverence for the profoundly ordinary moments.
Being gentle with myself through all of it.
I think when we are kind to ourselves, that truly spills out of us and onto the lives of others.
The ripple effect is pretty awesome.
My first intention each day is do no harm.
I have said this before, and it’s still true: I do not wake up happy every day.
Cheers to those who do, but I am not that person!
So I spend quiet time each morning before I even leave my bed setting the stage for my day.
I pray and meditate, I read a daily reading from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, and I write in my journal.
This morning practice is a way for me to have reverence for the day ahead.
A way of setting my soul free.
Reverence is a way to see the value in each part of life.
The good and the bad, the exciting and the boring, the joy and the pain.
Don’t ever discount the small shifts that you make in your life.
They all add up to healing in some way.
Care for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Even if it’s just a tiny little thing you do for yourself like interrupting a negative thought with a more loving one.
We are all trying to figure out life as we go.
No one has all the answers.
I would love to hear how you practice reverence in your life.
I would also love to hear if you chose a word for the year, or if you set an intention or a resolution.
Email me st Shannanfiorenza@yahoo.com.
I love this community and I enjoy hearing from you!
Blessings for the year to come!
Be well my friends :)