For whatever reason, (possibly my control freak nature) I struggle with acceptance.
I realized this early in my sober recovery.
I had it in my head that I could change the outcome of a situation if I could control it.
Control is merely a form of manipulation in my opinion. Learning to accept life on life's terms is no easy task.
The part of the Serenity prayer that says "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change" resonates deeply with me.
When I'm holding onto things and trying to control them, I feel inner turmoil and resentment.
It's not until I release that and come to acceptance that I feel any peace or "Serenity".
Sooooo easy right??
NOT FOR ME.
My process from surrender to acceptance is 3-5 business days...
Greatly improved from the old Shannan who used to hold onto things for months or even years!
*I want to interject here that the term "God" means many things to many different people. I do not tie any religion to that word. I honor whatever belief system you have. For all intents and purposes, God is a word for a power greater than myself.
This is hanging on my wall.
In the glove box in my car.
On my phone.
Under the sink in my bathroom.
I have to read it often. Sometimes several times a day.
This little excerpt is taken from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous which happens to be a part of my sober recovery. It was in a meeting of AA that I first felt fully accepted and completely at ease with who I am despite many faults and horrendous mistakes. This little paragraph has become a staple in my recovery and also in my life.
Due to the fact that I struggle with acceptance, I also have another reminder that happens to spark a lot of cool conversations when I'm out and about.
THIS IS MY LICENSE PLATE
THE IRISH WORD FOR ACCEPTANCE
Well I couldn't get it in English so Irish was the next best thing!
Since acceptance has always been a struggle for me and I can relate that to my controlling nature, self-acceptance is very important. I had to accept things about myself before I could change.
For me, self-acceptance is the ability to come into the present moment of your truth without judging it as good, bad, too much or not enough.
As I freely recognize my issues with control, it was helpful to me to know that despite the fact that I can't control many things, there are actually SOME things that I can control (thank goodness).
I found this list online years ago and I love it.
Most self-proclaimed control freaks find solace in this list.
So for anyone out there that can relate to the struggles with acceptance, I leave you with this...
No one is perfect
Everyone has challenges
You will inevitably be disappointed by someone
Acceptance really does lead to peace